花木兰主题曲
孙燕姿
我看得见云在天上混乱的飞
我听得见滚滚沙场埋一滴泪
这是谁的沙漠,忘了我是谁
又是谁,让这天灰
醒在黑山睡在黄河风吹往北
昨日故乡东市骏马在等着谁
铁衣下的你我
从患难到心碎
我问天,是白是黑
一颗心葬了几滴泪
一生情背我往前飞
记住这天地中的美
沧海世界,一眼成灰
我想喝家里的井水
却吞下生死的滋味
就让我敬往事一杯
对自己说,绝不后退
Why does the world deceive?
Why do I make believe?
took my heel and made Achilles out of me…
still I would want to be
Someone who’d answer to me.
Someone who sees like a child, gives like a saint,
feels like an angel — never mind the broken wings,
and speaks like a picture, cries like the rain, shines like a star,
as long as the fire remains.
Yanzi, Someone
I realized I'm not treating this space with the justice it deserves as frequency of post drops even further than once in a fortnight, or was it almost a month already?
Have been planning on an extensive Post-Promos Post that can possibly serve as a form of self-reflection (especially for things like..horribly terrible Promo Results) or just a recollection of thoughts lately. But nah, got overpowered by inertia and the prospect of typing every single thought that runs through my mind remains as something that'd be kept to myself but probably irrelevant to the rest of you. Most importantly I think it's because a lot of these thoughts aren't valid anymore, since that's the very essence of having them in the first place: you take stock and find out your problems and think of what to do now and move on from there for the better ain't it? Or sometimes you dwell in them for a bit longer than necessary but for the better-ment of you and rest of the world, you'd be discarding whatever that do not hold any value anymore and get on with the new and improved you instead.
I just wrote an entire paragraph of excuse for why I didn't complete a post, but that would also be a lot more painful to look at if I were to spell out the actual post word by word. That goes without saying that I don't usually prefer it when people find excuses to get themselves into a more comfortable position, and would like it instead that they could just be frank and state what's bothering them, simpler and easier. Hahaha this reminds me of the passage in the O Levels HCL paper that I retook recently, about how everyone hides behind a mask nowadays and you'll never know what their true intentions are (yes the passages this time round are a lot more mocking than the previous') and how their true characters are like. I guess for me, I'll be okay with whoever that wears a mask as long as you let me know why do you need it in the first place, and you can continue with wearing it no problem. Degree of transparency between people cannot be simplified to whether or not you should be entirely truthful towards everybody around you, more of adjusting from with whom do you feel more at ease? Which then proportionates to how much of yourself you'd choose to reveal to him/her? Matter of choice and gut-feeling. Nothing absolute, nothing forced.
Two more weeks of school (even the sound of that seems agonising right I know RJ's the only school still operating for the next two weeks) and then comes the holidays. I'm not sounding unusually excited here because..well I'm not. I'm not particularly upset about the uneventful (mainly means staying in town with no official job/work/wtv) holiday ahead, too, as I sincerely see it as a time that I can have for myself. I'll study (note: not mug) and learn and read and..yeah, that's about it and probably go to new/unknown/favourite places on this island and eat new/unknown/favourite with new/unknown/favourite persons, or maybe even try cooking if I pick up the courage somewhere. It'll be calm and not very happening, but I know I'll be happy and contented.
For however much we've missed RG old times and being scared/worried/helpless/frustrated/wtv with things in the past year or so, it was half the time gone. At this time last year, while we just couldn't stop thinking about how it'd be like in JC, things've since been happening in ways that we wanted sometimes, but most of the time in ways we least expected. I think i forgot about my main thesis for this paragraph because I'm suddenly very sleepy, it won't hurt to say that next year is going to be as bad/worse, but I think it'll be extra fortunate to go through the process, with heart and tears with those around you, to reach whatever that's at the other end.
I'm thankful for a lot of things that happened and also not so for many others, mainly with the faults on my part. For now what I can do I guess is to make each day count, enjoy time in the hols, and prepare to end off 2009/start off 2010 properly.
I stole this.
'At any point in time in a relationship, a quarrel/some sort of difference between the two parties will occur. And the distinguishing factor is really both parties' response to this difference. For the relationship to be strengthened or brought to another level of closeness, both parties' must be able to instinctively, without need for discussion, somehow find in themselves the need and ability to agree to disagree and then move on, knowing, appreciating and even loving the differences between themselves.'
...and realized it makes perfect sense which I've been trying hard to put into words.
I've written myself an extremely bitter post about 2 days ago, about a part of my emotions that I rarely visit, and do not wish to change that trend in the future.
I'm glad I've marked that post as Private (teehee you can't see it) but nah, I'm not wishing that you had either. I've been through that thought so that's not going to bother me now, for the timing being at least, all for the better. I love moments of self-discovery and revelations, even when they're not that eventful at times. It helps, with the emotional maturing thing, and growing up in general I guess.
Alright shall go figure out now how to have a meaningful year-end holiday, while staying here. (no more Europe trip. D:)
I really do hope it works this time, in however many senses this may come across as.
More trivially, it's 2am. I do not like being awake at this time why am I even awake now and probably for a while longer?! Evidently, being awake at this time is not good because it makes me hungry, unusually energetic which also means unusually deadbeat tomorrow, and tend to think about too many things that make me more confused.
Just finished a book - The Other Hand, by Chris Cleave. It tells the story of a short-lived journey of a Nigerian girl in the UK, and her complex background. Its perspective's rather refreshing, but I do not fancy the ending very much because it did not give me hope. Does it make me naive/less mature to expect a happy ending from every story that I read/watch? Not all stories necessarily need to end with grand reunion, but I dunno, it'd be better if they give the readers hope? Does it ring a bell? Or, at least not to destroy the accumulated hope that's built up from the start. And..maybe it's just me and me against all dark&evil in this world.
There're quite a number of things to be settled, especially it's now Post-Promos period and will remain as that for a while, I'll need to do them one by one.
I still believe in being hopeful, it gives us wings.
1. Too many people have Nokia E63 now everywhere i go i see it especially in school my phone does not feel unique anymoreeee haiz it's okay it has Fruit Stickers and a useless plastic cover.
2. PW is almost done omg cannot contain excitement and also cannot wait to let WR be submitted and most importantly cannot thank NFBMRA more we owe our lives to her for PW which sadly is not ending anytime soon but whoaa WR is like major accomplishment most of which are to be credited to PW-member stated above i think the rest of us need to redefine our life-purpose and direction.
3. Need to stop drinking iced drinks omg throat's red and swollen and bumpy and burningggg and did i just had a bubble tea eeee not helping at all but it was strawberry milk tea with egg pudding and auntie forgot to give me pearls it's okay i liked it still and of course throat's even worse now ouuuch.
4. Lesson learnt today when you get high while studying (for example if you like doing Chem/Geog/Maths/Econs/Etc very very much and keep doing it and think about it even when you're not doing it) around this period of time most probably means you have not been studying very hard for the past 9 months hahaha like today i did 5 hours of Geog and got very very happy for all the notes but sadly (why my points always end with sadly mm this's not good) it didn't last any longer after that and i felt even more excited after that sooooo decided not to do Geog anymore and so went to get bubble tea instead.
Shall stop at 4 points.
Just struck out date stated above off my calendar, it then dawned on me that there're exactly two weeks left to Promos? Not that it is anything near a scary thought since, well, we've been informed of the dates over two months ago, probably it is the fact that we've almost reached the end of JC1, and there's only a huge exam that's waiting for us at the end of it that is more intimidating?
I definitely cannot judge for most people, but personally it has been, so far, a year that has given me really little to reminisce. Not to mention that myself is probably part of the reason why things didn't turn out the best that they could.
Gonna drill in the thought that fourteen days can make a difference (always the case when I've slacked the entire year off ain't it) and I need to show to myself that it is possible yeah.
Okay 8pm get to work. :)
那时我们总有好多话
什么事都可以讲
经过了相遇挣扎
我还是无法将他放下
那是多久后的事了
有一天你突然问我
在那个时候是否也爱着他
我也很想他我们都一样
在他的身上曾找到翅膀
我也很想他在某个地方
我少了尴尬你少了肩膀
而夏天还是那么短
思念却很长
－ 燕姿，我也很想他
放心离开我
我会记得这一刻
那些还飞翔着
不可思议的梦
雨后的天后
会有绚烂的彩虹
像最初相信着
我们总会找到自由
这一刻 时间变成行李
越过生命悲喜 陪伴着我前进
因为你 让我看清自己
面对未知的恐惧
脚步更加坚定
只是远行 不是逃避
道别时为延续回忆永恒的华丽
你 要照顾自己
不要忘记 那些灿烂过的痕迹
- 燕姿，这一刻 The Moment
都三年了，你在那里还好吧，今天我们一起想起了你，想起了你的不辞而别。
说起了许许多多的如果，允许自己想了想如果你在，回是怎样。
但我们不怪你，因为我知道你一直都在，一直都在。
How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fallAnd I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
I can hear the angels crying in the air.
RIP.
Article on dwindling population in developed countries: "... (in the future) real estate prices will fall. That will hurt seniors (elderly) whose nest eggs are tied up in their homes, but it will be a boon to youngsters of the future. Who knows? Maybe the added space and cheap living will inspire them to, well, do whatever it takes to make more babies. Thus the cycle of life will restore its balance."
Wow. Hahahaa...
I love this conclusion for such an in-dept article studying population, fantastic link made don't you think? It looked on the most optimistic side of aging population and declining birth rates in population studies everrr.
